EP 27

EP 27

subRobert explores online presence, BDSM communication, and integrating kink into daily life. Sharing journey insights and the impact of Mistress Neena, the lively discussion offers a glimpse into the world of BDSM and subRobert's unique experiences.

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Guest Bio

subRobert (he/him) is based in the Tri-State area and has been in the kink scene for 9 years. He identifies as heteroflexible, is a service sub at heart, and is a budding content creator. With minimal limits, the kink community has profoundly impacted and improved his life.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/subrobert/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/robert89226902


Wicked Wren [00:00:08] Hello everyone, and welcome to the Shibari Study Podcast. I'm your host, Wicked Wren. Shibari Study is an online learning resource offering video tutorials for beginners through advanced practitioners. Whether you're brand new to the world of Shibari and needing to learn the basics or a seasoned rigger or rope bottom seeking inspiration to push your practice to new places, there's something for you at ShibariStudy.com. Today I'm talking to subRobert. Robert uses he/him pronouns. He's a service sub. He's collared by mistress Neena Deville and an all around very cool person. So the reason why I wanted to have subRobert on is because in the social media sphere, I see subRobert being loved by everybody. You seem to be universally loved by (…).

subRobert [00:00:57] Oh, stop it.

Wicked Wren [00:00:59] It's just very, very unique. And that caught my eye.

subRobert [00:01:02] Yeah. Genuinely at heart, I am a very kind – like basically I'm a big cuddly bear because I'm like big, six feet tall, very actually intimidating and just, I'm very nice and I'm genuinely nice and kind to people. And I find that all the social media spaces, you know, especially Twitter, you find a lot of people just being like super negative and bringing people down and nobody really needs that kind of karma. So like, I want to be honest and open and, you know, spread some love, spread some joy on that and be positive.

Wicked Wren [00:01:39] Well, I find that a lot of submissives view (…) or tops, whatever, even if you're a rope bottom, you view someone as a gateway to doing the (…) to you. You just view them as a dispenser of (…). And that really annoys me. And that is like super social media because everyone just has a random picture. You use your face which is cool, but a lot of people just have random pictures and they just spew out (…) stuff.

subRobert [00:02:11] Oh, yeah. And honestly like, I always get – honest, my first session I ever had, and even maybe before that, you know, do you realize that everybody is just a person, a (…), a top? They are a real (…) person. And I feel like that's always something that's missed? Is that we're all real people and we should all be treated with like that kindness and that respect and that, that like, falls apart when, especially when you're online, and you know what? And there's no ramifications for people. Like you can block somebody, but then some –  like the really sketchy people just make other accounts and stalk you and make all these bad comments. And I absolutely despise that. So I try to stay away from that and be positive.

Wicked Wren [00:02:56] It's almost more scary blocking someone because then you don't know who they are anymore. My question is –

subRobert [00:03:01] I would agree.

Wicked Wren [00:03:02] Have you always been like this or was there a journey to kind of seeing the face behind a (…)?

subRobert [00:03:09] So I have always been like this, but at the same time, there was a journey to discovery of like, Wow, they really are real people. This is not just like a – and for some people it is a persona, but then for other people, it is their lifestyle and this is how they are like really in real, in like real-time kind of thing. Like I mean, when I first met my owner which was about four years and four days ago – just had our (…), which is amazing – but... she, I was, I actually was following, like her mentee on Instagram because it was like leather and latex and like, she was all about it. Super (…), the tattoos. And so I had been following a few people like that and I was like, Oh, she like – I was like, Maybe I'll session with her? And found out she lives in like London. And I was like, Oh crap. But then she posted a picture with my owner who lived in New York, and I was like, Oh, she seems like super (…) and cool. I was like, Let me check out her website, go through the steps, you know, like vet them. Like, cause as a lot of submissives, I feel like they don't vet their (…). Like the (…) vets you which is something that's very much missed. Especially, it also puts you on good terms and you already know things going into it that you won't like mess up on. But she did her first Instagram live ever. I think it's might  be one of three she's ever done. And I – she was like, Just putting on makeup. And she's like, Hey, I'm just trying to get comfortable in front of the mirror. And I was like free. I turn my camera on and I was just like, you know, just watching and then asking like really nice, you know, questions that were like... If she was a real person, I was like, (…), she's a real person. Like I was like, I was like, let me ask like, What are her plans today? Like, Oh, how did she get into this? Like, What are, what does she find rewarding? That's one of my favorite questions to ask somebody when they ask like a ask Q&A is, What do you find to be the most rewarding aspect of being a (…) for you? Because I find that question to be really revealing too. Because like, it's like if they say, Oh, I make so much money and this and that, and it's like, Okay, well I don't really want that. And it's like I get to... When you hear like that, I get to be a part of somebody's experience and journey or open their eyes or give them that safe space to be a part of. She said like all those things. And I was like, Okay, I'm in. I think I was really respectful in what I wrote and I wasn't like, you know, thinking with my (…) the whole time which is usually what every (…) guy does in that situation. It's like don't – when you message a (…) or you message anybody, don't be (…) at the time when you do that. I think that's an important factor. Yes. Go take care of yourself and then come back and then write the email and then you should be good.

Wicked Wren [00:06:11] Real words of wisdom here, folks.

subRobert [00:06:14] Just dropping knowledge on people.

Wicked Wren [00:06:16] I want to pull out something that you said about submissives vetting (…), because it's super common for (…) to vet submissives. That happens all the time. But it's so important for the submissive to vet the (…), because there's so many different flavors of (…). There's so many different (…) that want to do different things with people, and making sure that you're going to get the experience that you want and things like that.

subRobert [00:06:40] Oh yeah, 100%. I mean, I think you, you know, a lot of (…) always say it, and they always post about it, but like nobody ever – if you don't post, I find that... If you don't post like some hot picture to go along with whatever you're writing there, no one's even going to look at what you actually wrote in your post. And then even when you do post a hot picture with some writing, they don't read the writing that you write either. And they're always like, Hey, read my website. I have frequently asked, I have the Q&A section that you need to read and it'll answer everything you want, and if you have another question, you can ask it there in a polite manner.

Wicked Wren [00:07:16] It does go with being a service sub though, because an act of service is reading and respecting and actually thinking about all the work that goes into writing the stuff in the FAQ section and things like that.

subRobert [00:07:27] Oh yeah, 100%. I'm honestly like, I didn't know when I came into the scene that I was a service sub and I like eventually, like found that out and through like some events and stuff like that. Like there was an order of (…) that we went to like two years ago and it really opened my eyes to it. But... it was just natural for me to want to read and be anticipatory about certain things and like, almost be ahead of the curve? And honestly, like people always say like, you know, like (…) is not like real. And – but like, I took it... Certain things are important because I would go on (…) all the time and watch like Divine (…) and (…) like that. And it was... it was always like they would ask you a question or like they would be doing something and they would never like respond with thank you and stuff like that. I was saying thank you immediately in my sessions. Because I was like, This is going to come up. She's going to ask me. I know it. Where's my opening? She gives me that like one spank after she does like pegged me. And I'm like, Oh, thank you, mistress. And always using the correct honorifics too. Like, if you're Goddess or you're Mistress. But I think that's like the first thing I ask anybody when it's not like posted on there, they're like, it's like Miss Matrix or whatever. And I'm like, Is it – Do you like to be called Mistress... Like what's your honorifics? Oh, Daddy, you like to be called Daddy? Yeah. I will call you Daddy every time.

Wicked Wren [00:08:57] Do you think that there's a stigma around asking questions and people being afraid to ask questions?

subRobert [00:09:02] I 100% think that it's probably true, probably that either people are just lazy and they don't want to even bother because they don't care enough about it to ask what people's honorifics are. And then the other is they're afraid. Because most (…), almost all (…), give off that element of like, I'm the queen bee, I'm like – It's almost like they're a (…), but they're not a (…). They're like, the sweetest, nicest people you ever meet. Yeah, will they turn the switch on and be cruel if you want them to be cruel and, like, give you the fantasy that you want to be given? Yes, they are 100% there to please you if you come in the right way. Like if you come to them with respect and trust. And it's just... It's a beautiful thing when you actually get into a session, as you know.

Wicked Wren [00:09:57] I think it's also worth saying here that if a provider of any kind, whether it's rope, whether it's a (…), anyone answers a little bit spicy, it's because nine out of ten people do not come with the humility that you're coming with. So a little bit of that goes a really, really long way.

subRobert [00:10:19] It's – I've been told over the years and I've seen it over the years that the last four years that that really comes with, you know, it's, it's almost like those common courtesy things that you're like, you grew up on. Please. Thank you. Hold the door for somebody. Like those little tiny things of consideration should be transferred over into this hundred fold. It's like when you go to a session, like they always talk about, you know, tipping or bringing a gift or whatever it is. Don't bring things that you want to bring them. Bring things that they want. But I remember like my first like three sessions that I had done and I brought enough for like the two or three hour session like as tribute. And then I brought an hour's worth of tribute after that as a tip because I was like, I'm a person that's like, Okay, I'm going to tip 20%. Like anywhere, like meals, bars, whatever it is. And then I'm like, I don't – is she going to be insulted by 20%? I was like, you know, (…) it, I'm going to bring another hour. I was like, I've saved up. I've saved up enough. Like, I mean, I save up every month. I have like five jobs, like. So I have to save up to go session, which is what everybody should do. Don't haggle your (…). Sorry. I just want to throw that in there. Don't haggle the (…) worker for their time.

Wicked Wren [00:11:31] (…) is a luxury. This is a luxury. This is not a necessity. I think this is also important to say that. Not haggling, bringing gifts, showing appreciation is going to get you so much more, so much more. And then saving up, like you said, like you're making it a priority. And that's what this is about.

subRobert [00:11:55] Yeah, no. You want to know that they want to be there and you're not like – they're not just trying to get off on you because of what you're doing to them and like... And yes. Like the (…) workers are there to cater to the fantasies that you want, but at the same time, it's their fantasies as well. So when you vet a (…) or any (…) worker or rope top, like find out what they like to do, find like, go to their page. These are my likes. These are my dislikes. Put that in email. This is what I want to do. Don't say I have no limits. That's not a thing.

Wicked Wren [00:12:28] That's not real.

subRobert [00:12:29] I don't think you want them to put a sword through your ear. Like that's not a thing.

Wicked Wren [00:12:33] Red flag.

subRobert [00:12:34] Red flag.

Wicked Wren [00:12:35] I want to ask a little bit about advocating for yourself. Because that's really what we're talking about is you advocating, because you said saying you have no limits is a massive red flag. Everyone should have limits. Was there a journey where you had to learn to advocate for yourself or....?

subRobert [00:12:55] I kind of knew my limits going into it, when I started to session. And it wasn't like I knew my limits, knew my limits, it was more along the lines of like, I knew things that I was like, You know what. I don't really want to even try that. It doesn't sound appealing to me. Like I am not a pain slut. I have – I apparently am pretty good at it. I, these are, these are all news to me. I'm like, I don't think I took it that well. Like, when you watch other people take like a beating and you're like, Oh, okay. And it's never really a beating. It's, it's like a release almost. I mean, I've had so many like cathartic like cries.

Wicked Wren [00:13:29] Can I, I'm going to, I'm going to put something in here really quick, because this goes to rope as well and also impact, anything like that. Suffering in silence isn't as fun as people think it is. When you give input to a top, whether it's rope whether its impact, whatever it is, that's great because it's input. It's feedback. It helps.

subRobert [00:13:52] So we literally, so my owner and I just filmed like our like session which we like never do. Because we're always like so into the scene that like we never like turn the camera on or like get the phone out. Because we're just like just that connected in the scene of the moment because of just like, our years that we've had together. We made it a point we're going to film. But like, I saw her face when we did this long impact scene and I was like, because I'm always like looking at the floor or like the other direction or I'm blindfolded or whatever it may be and they're like, Really experience it and let go. And the giddy looks that she had on her face when I would be like, Ah! Like, or just like, like, Oh!!! Like, she's like – she like did like a little like shimmy jiggle jiggle at one point. And I was like, had this huge smile on her face and like, she just loved it. Because it was – and even like impact or any kind of like thing that like might be painful. It's a release and it's you letting go of (…). Like, that's how it is for me anyways. But yeah, it's, it's just stuff like that is like eye-opening.

Wicked Wren [00:15:01] Do you feel like you're going to keep using the camera in sessions? Do you feel like it added?

subRobert [00:15:07] So I have found out over the past couple like, like, maybe like a year or two now? I'm totally an exhibitionist. I like love it. Went to Torture Garden last year, was unable to this year, but went last year. And a (…), who is like, one of like, the performers, she had like two of her mentees there and she was like, Hey, Robert, do you want to like kind of get things started and be like our impact bottom? And I was like, Uh, yes, please! I hadn't had impact in like... We hadn't had done like impact in like four or five months in like our sessions for whatever reason. But so I was like, Yes, I'm all about it. So they like, put me over the spanking bench, chained me, and then like, just started going to town and honestly like, the third stroke in, I slipped in the subspace and was like, Let's (…) go. I had... I had like.... Like the (…) – I call her a legend. Mistress Evo was literally – I picked up my head at one point, she is sitting on like one of those like love seats. Like, right in front of me. Like, looking at me. And we had just introduced ourselves like maybe like, an hour before that. And she was like, Oh, my God, it's subRobert! I was like, Oh my Mistress Evo! How do you even know my name? Like, I was like, so giddy. Like when people like actually meet me in person and like, they like, know me and they're like, Oh my God, I love your comments, and all this stuff. It's, it's heartwarming. It's really affirming and it's great. But I like, looked up and she goes, she just like, leaned in and was just like, You're a little attention (…), aren't you? And you love this. And I was like, I do! I love it so much! Oh my god, somebody hit me harder, I loved it! And then like, Goddess Eviva walked over, who's like best friends with my owner. She started like whispering stuff in my ear and like – Like, oh my God, I don't even know how long I was on the spank bench.

Wicked Wren [00:17:01] Yeah. It's all a blur.

subRobert [00:17:02] It just kept going – yeah all a blur. But like, such an exhibitionist. Like, I, like, I want to show off. Like, so the camera being on... I recently like have started like an OF. And the moment you get me going like, I'm going to (…) show.

Wicked Wren [00:17:19] We talk a lot about the camera being an observer in a scene in like rope bondage and stuff like that. And how it does add that extra element because you're kind of performing for people and like, yeah, it's cool.

subRobert [00:17:32] And I will... if there is a crowd or there is other people that are watching like, I love like, multiple (…) scenes. Because I will almost like... Not unsafe, like very safely. I like I know my limits. I know where to take it. And I know what feelings are, but... I will go to another level with other people in the room. I will push myself and literally – and it's not to make my (…) proud of me. But it makes my (…) really proud of me when I'm just like owning the moment and just like... But like, I know when to red. I know when to yellow. Like, I will not push myself to where I'm going to get hurt, like – and that's a big thing is everybody needs to know their limits. If it's – especially when you first start out, if it starts to hurt or it starts to feel weird or starts to feel awkward. Yellow. Your (…) will check in with you. They will make sure that you're okay. They want you to come back. Like, I feel like nobody ever thinks of that. They want you to come back. They want the repeat business.

Wicked Wren [00:18:32] Yeah, you want to leave a little bit on the table. And this goes for scenes and just like a relationship, whether you're playing with a partner or you're playing with a dominant whatever it is, leave a little bit for next time.

subRobert [00:18:46] Yeah. And be open and be honest. Be open and be honest. Don't keep your feelings and don't hold back from telling them, Hey, that was a little weird. That was a little awkward. I literally just had that with my owner. We were at a weird angle. She put this (…) in, and this is like my like second favorite (…). It's amazing. Yeah, it's called the demonic. I'm going to promote it.

Wicked Wren [00:19:11] Promo code: subRobert at check out.

subRobert [00:19:15] And it hurt. Then we realized for the angle we were at – we turned the (…), she was like, You know what if I turn the (…) around?"

Wicked Wren [00:19:22] Yeah. And you use words and communicated.

subRobert [00:19:24] Yeah, but I communicated that I didn't like... I was like, Oh, whoa. I was like, I was like, Yellow, yellow. Hang on. Hang on. That's not the right – Like, I didn't try to take it. I didn't try – like, I let her know. And guess what? Yellow doesn't end the scene. Red sometimes doesn't end the scene. You just have to communicate that with your top, or your partner, or your (…), or the (…) worker that you're with, and they'll be very communicative about it. They want you to talk. The more you tell them. That's like when you were talking about before. It's like, you know, you don't like a silent partner. You want somebody who's going to moan and, Ooh, and Aah. You want to know what they're feeling. Like, that communication is huge, especially – that's something that's (…) has taught me. (…) has taught me that communication is absolutely key in any kind of relationship that you're going to have with anybody.

Wicked Wren [00:20:09] Have you taken that lesson out of (…) and put it in your life?

subRobert [00:20:13] 100%. 100%. I have not kept quiet about things. It's it's not good to keep things in. And yes, there are right times and wrong times. Like in like your regular day-to-day to have certain talks. But at the same time, you shouldn't hold back. You should tell people what you're feeling, especially if it feels off. If it feels wrong to you. And there's ways to do it. There's ways not to do it. But it definitely has translated over into my regular like day to day. And it's, it's so important, especially in (…) and especially in the day to day. Like don't hold back.

Wicked Wren [00:20:49] You said something really important. Yellow doesn't end the scene. And adjusting is a good thing. And oftentimes in rope bondage we'll say, Hey, we need an adjustment, because if somebody is in a suspension and a precarious position, it's, it's harder to just kind of stop, right? So if someone says, Hey, I need an adjustment, a lot of times a scene will just end, and taking a second, taking a breath, seeing what's going on, making an audit of that and then making small changes is a great thing.

subRobert [00:21:22] Oh, yeah. It's, it's, I think it's paramount. And I think that's a really good sign of a really good top or pro in any like, you know, area of (…) especially, is because they want to check in. They don't want it to be over they know that you only yellowed. You didn't red. You weren't like, Oh my God, that's (…) awful. Stop, stop, stop. No means no.

Wicked Wren [00:21:45] It might just be awful for a minute, too, and then we can get through it. I think that it comes with playing in your skill set as well. Never play to the top of it. Stay in places that you really understand and then maybe jump to the top for a second, but then come back. Like don't make the core of the scene at the top. At red line.

subRobert [00:22:05] Yep.

Wicked Wren [00:22:06] I want to talk about growing up for you. And were you always into being a submissive, always in the service, always into these things? Or did you have to like kind of find it?

subRobert [00:22:17] I've been like captain of the football team, basketball... Like all this other stuff. The jobs that I have are like, I am in a place of control, and all this other stuff. And I never thought I was like an alpha or like that's like a real thing, but...

Wicked Wren [00:22:30] But I understand what you're saying. You take on stereotypical masculine roles in society. How we view that. I understand.

subRobert [00:22:38] But I've always wanted to listen to the input of the people that are around me and not just bark orders at somebody. And I want to cater to everybody. Like, I'm that person that in high school, even middle school, whatever it was, I was friends with everybody. Everybody knew my name. I'm getting waved. I wave to everybody in school.

Wicked Wren [00:22:56] Yeah, teachers are like, Hey, subRobert!

subRobert [00:22:58] No, no. subRobert wasn't on there.

Wicked Wren [00:23:02] Do you think that that let you find being a submissive, if that makes sense? Because you don't view it as a lesser title.

subRobert [00:23:10] Yes, I view it slightly as a lesser title, but still on the same level of respect and trust, and all those things. Like, there's you know, there's that little pyramid of like, you know...

Wicked Wren [00:23:23] The pyramid is real, yes.

subRobert [00:23:25] Yeah, the pyramid is real.

Wicked Wren [00:23:26] But you don't have less... votes? You know.

subRobert [00:23:28] Value. Yeah, no, I still, I still get a say. And like, I've actually kind of came out to my close knit group of friends this like Thanksgiving. Like right around that time. And I was getting a lot of questions and they were like, so like, because I was always like, Yeah, I got to go to the city, you know, I'm going to like hang out with some friends, or I'm going to go like – because I live in the state next to New York and so I have to drive in. And so I'm always like, Yeah, I can't go hang out with you guys tonight. I got to run into the city. I am going to do something. Whether it be a session or going to do service for one of my owner's (…) friends or even just regular friends, help them move. Like, during COVID, I was like bringing food in to people because we had a lot more surpluses like around my state than they did in the city. So I was helping a few people out, but then everybody was moving. I have a minivan accessible and my regular car. So like, I would drive in, help people move and all that other stuff and just help people get their new dungeons spaces set up or take people to the airport, whatever it is. I just, I want to be there for somebody that... You know...

Wicked Wren [00:24:36] Needs you.

subRobert [00:24:36] Yeah, it makes their... It makes it easier for them, helps with their time, helps with, you know, funds, you know. It wouldn't have been as easy or they might not have been able to get it done if I wasn't able to do it. But, so I had just come out to like, my friends and they were asking me questions about like... So like, So you're owned? I like came out, I was like, I am heteroflexible. I am what's known as a service. I'm Collared. And I like threw it all out at them and I was like, Here, take it. I was like...

Wicked Wren [00:25:08] How did they receive that?

subRobert [00:25:10] It was, it was actually really great. I was really shocked. I could definitely tell there's still a couple of people that were like, you know, like on the fence about something, but, our like, we have like a married gay couple that's in like, our like, close knit group of friends. So they were very helpful with some of the terminology of a lot of the things which is great. And then like one of our friends. Like they are married. The first story they told was about like a really precarious situation that they had which turned sexual, and they're very open about what they talk about. So I was like, I feel really comfortable saying this and like we were at their house, but they asked me a question about their like, So if Mistress Neena asks you or Mistress Neena tells you she needs you to come do this, like you can't say no? And I was like, Well, no, I can say no whenever I want. I was like, There's no like – my life is my life. And then I have my (…) life, and it's very clear. Like we have a contract and stuff like that about like, you know, who comes first and stuff like that and like, what I can like do and not do and check-ins with her and things like that. It's all on a contract that you make when – especially when you get collared. But I can say no to doing stuff. If I'm not free to do it, she understands that I can't come do it because I am working or I have family stuff to do or I'm doing something with my friends already.

Wicked Wren [00:26:30] She also wouldn't put you in that situation, I would imagine.

subRobert [00:26:33] Yeah. No. Yeah. But like they didn't, they didn't like –tThey were like, Oh, oh. So it's just like if we called you to come do something like help us move and you were free, you would do it. And I was like, Yeah, I've done that like 20 times for you guys. Every time you call me, I was like, I just don't get the same high that I get off of it when I come to do it for you guys, like...

Wicked Wren [00:26:54] It's like Mistress Neena is maybe a little more attractive than you guys. Sorry to say.

subRobert [00:26:57] Yes. Yes, sorry guys. But... Like I do get a little bit of a like, I do have that big feeling of like... Accomplishment when I go to help my friends. But like, it's a little bit bigger when it's like, you know, it's asked of me from a (…) or like one of their friends or whatever it might be. But... So, yeah.

Wicked Wren [00:27:18] Let me ask you this. First off, I want to say that I love that you have a minivan, I love minivans. I have a secret agenda, this podcast. And it's to get people in bikes more, not driving as much and utilizing minivans. Love it.

subRobert [00:27:31] I ride bikes.

Wicked Wren [00:27:32] I love it.

subRobert [00:27:33] Motorc – not motorcycles. Cycles.

Wicked Wren [00:27:35] Yeah, I ride bi – the bicycle.

subRobert [00:27:39] Bicycle (in French accent).

Wicked Wren [00:27:38] It's way more fun than being in a car. Also the minivan? Better for transporting things than trucks.

subRobert [00:27:44] Heck yeah. Actually, somebody just asked me about it. You can put all the seats down, so there's hard points in the van on the floor, so potentially somebody gets a heads up in there and then, you know, a whole scene can happen, I'm just saying.

Wicked Wren [00:27:59] It's a whole thing, people. And we'll give you that one for free; if anybody does that make sure to tag Shibari Study. So you're you're currently in your car at a brewery you've made time to come chat with us about this. I've got to ask, do your friends know what you're talking about in the car?

subRobert [00:28:13] No, because I only mentioned it to like one or two of them because they're really in conversations. But only two of them that are here right now know about my other lifestyle.

Wicked Wren [00:28:25] Your second life.

subRobert [00:28:25] Yeah, my second life, I guess you call it. I mean, it's so, it's so part of my life like... So when I had my – it was like my third (…) scene ever with Neena four years and four days ago. I like mentioning it because it's, I just love it.

Wicked Wren [00:28:39] Yeah please, it's very cool.

subRobert [00:28:42] So that was like our (…). But right after that session I was like, You know what? I am... I'm in. I was like, I'm in. I was like, I am going to commit to this fully. I'm going to save up every month, come once a month and come to a session and all that stuff. And then... You know, Twitter was actually a big part of it. I actually went and did... I was free the day of my session and the day before, I just randomly had work off and Mistress Neena had posted something and I went and followed her on Twitter. I created an account again, I had deleted my old one, and I had made a new one just so I could be up to date on like what's going on and what she got going on. What like, Oh, what's the bottle of wine that she really likes? Or like, she went to dinner here? She likes this place. Just to be more informed. And she posted that she needed someone to help drive her around the day before our session. And she had a photo shoot and like pick a photographer. I was like – so I reached out like, immediately. I was like, Hey, we haven't sessioned yet, we're supposed to be sessioning tomorrow. I was like, This is my driving record. No accidents, no speeding tickets. Yada, yada. I was like, I have a car. I'm free. Like serendipitously free. So I actually went and did service and got to hang out with Mistress Neena the day before our first session. And I was like...

Wicked Wren [00:30:05] How nervous were you?

subRobert [00:30:05] I did a really great job. I was... I'm, so I still get, like nervous and anxious being in service to anybody. Like, I hate being late in general, number one. I hate being underprepared. Like, I came with a cooler full of like drinks and fruit and all this other (…). None of which was asked of me.  I just was naturally being anticipatory. I was like, This is going to happen. Somebody's going to want to drink some is going to want some fruit or something. I was like, I've got three kinds of gum. I was like, I don't know what people are allergic to. I don't know what's going on. But, but so I did the service and it was great. We had the session the next day and like after the session, I was just like, I'm in. I was like, I'm in. And along the way, over the next like five, six months. Like, she had a friend who needed a ride to the airport. She needed a ride to the airport. I have a car. You know, nobody in the city has a car, and I live outside of the city. So I was like, I was like, I'm there. I was like, Here you go, I'll scoop you up. Oh, you're getting picked up at 1 a.m.? Flight gets in at 1 a.m., I'm there. I was like, I'll be up. Like...

Wicked Wren [00:31:11] Did you get your car cleaned and stuff?

subRobert [00:31:13] Oh, I – laughter – my car is immaculate at all times. So the only place that's like dirty or messy is my bed. And that's only because I do not make my bed.

Wicked Wren [00:31:27] Yeah, same.

subRobert [00:31:29] I wake up in the morning. I throw the sheet off of me. And get up. I will go back to sleep. Sit back down the same way I got up, and pull that blanket over and go right back to that cozy little spot. Nobody gets that. I was like, I'm not tucking it in. I'm not going nurse's corners. I know how to do these things, but like, I'm not doing that to my bed every morning. I was like, I want to go back to the coomfy spot that I just left.

Wicked Wren [00:31:53] Yes, exactly. I know. I don't care about making it. It seems kinda pointless to me.

subRobert [00:31:57] But no, my car is always like immaculate and I always want it to be clean. I don't want to like...

Wicked Wren [00:32:03] My last weird question for you about this is what did you wear?

subRobert [00:32:07] Oh, so I just wore regular – I actually had asked her. I was like, Is there anything like I should like wear like... I was like, You want me to wear like a little like cap or something like that? And she was like, she was like, she was like, The cap is a great touch, but no need for that. Just like, just come in your regular casual clothes. I think the first session I ever went to at like the Parthenon, which no longer exists, which wasn't with Neena,. It was like a three hour session. I brought like flowers for the (…). Then like a bottle of champagne. I suited up.

Wicked Wren [00:32:36] Yeah. You really did.

subRobert [00:32:38] I went full suit. I was like, I was like, I kind of am getting that impression that everybody sort of like, people like it when they come in the suit and stuff. And then I was like... After like going to see Neena, I always like dressed up for the first couple sets. And she was like, she's like, You know, you don't really have to like, it's nice, but you don't like really have like dress up like this. And also, like we started going to like, it was like the summer, like August? And she's like – September? And she's like, Yeah, it's hot. Like, you don't have to wear like a suit. I was like, she's like, Come in like your shorts, you know, your T-shirt or, you know, some jeans or whatever it is.

Wicked Wren [00:33:09] It's cool how, over time you get the real person. And, not to say – real person is the wrong word. We all, no matter if you're a (…) or you're a construction worker, we wear different masks in different places. And it's cool that you're kind of showing people like, I can be a more comfortable version of myself maybe, or whatever it is. What are you looking forward to in the future? Like, what do you want to grow? How do you want to grow as a submissive and things?

subRobert [00:33:39] I'm still learning and I'm still opening my eyes up to new experiences. I mean like, I have very few limits. And I've tried almost everything under the sun. Like, literally just tried an electric ball crusher the other day and that was great. We actually found that that's my funny bone, apparently?

Wicked Wren [00:33:59] I love it, I love it. There's a medical study that said that a lot of people's funny bones are actually in their testicles, so...

subRobert [00:34:06] Stop it. You're making that up.

Wicked Wren [00:34:07] I am making it up.

subRobert [00:34:09] I knew it!

Wicked Wren [00:34:09] I'm also very funny, you know.

subRobert [00:34:11] This is like – this is like on corn corner. You make up half the stuff sometimes. It's hilarious. I love it.

Wicked Wren [00:34:16] That's not true. Everything I say on that podcast is factual. So you said that you, you want to grow and, and you've tried everything and stuff so, how do you wanna grow?

subRobert [00:34:28] Well, I haven't tried everything under the sun, honestly. Like, and there's still so many things that I want to do. And I mean, I literally just asked my owner the other day to do certain things because like, she doesn't provide certain things. And so she's allowing me to go do some of those things and we're going to negotiate other things as well. And I'm looking forward to what the next like four years has in store for me. Getting tied and suspended, like that's like the work that you've done with Doll when you get tied up. And the work that Doll does in general is...

Wicked Wren [00:35:01] She's incredible.

subRobert [00:35:01] So beautiful. I remember my first event that I ever went to was actually at Temple. It was like the first event they ever had. They tied up two people like chandeliers, with the candles along their legs. I was in awe. Granted, I had just been like saran wrapped as a serving table and taken around the room and I was like in cooldown mode in the corner and just watching this. But it was so beautiful. And the connection that you had with somebody else, it's a (…), (…) hug. And I love it. I love it. So every time rope gets used on me, which we've been incorporating more into my sessions, it's amazing. So... Looking forward to that.

Wicked Wren [00:35:43] I find rope is very, very different than all the other kind of disciplines or apparatus, that kind of thing. 

subRobert [00:35:50] Oh yeah, no, I mean, I love leather, I love chains. That's great. But rope... It's its own animal and it's great.

Wicked Wren [00:35:56] Do you want to plug anything before we leave?

subRobert [00:35:59] My OF, it's SubRobert at OF, my Instagram and my Twitter @subRobert. If anybody wants to follow, you're welcome to. Anybody who wants to create, reach out. I'm down. Like let's get crazy. Just got to get approval from the boss though. The boss has got to approve all them, so...

Wicked Wren [00:36:14] Where can we find Mistress Neena?

subRobert [00:36:17] Mistress Neena at Domeena. So it's domeena_neena and that's on Instagram and Twitter, LF. She has all that. If you go to her Twitter page, she has it all right there pinned on her first page at domeena_neena. Or you can find her through my page at subRobert, and that's literally at the top of the page collared by domeena_neena. This has been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. It's so good to like finally put a face. Well, I see you all the time. You don't ever see me.

Wicked Wren [00:37:00] I don't. But it's really, really nice to see your face. Yeah. Thank you so much for being on.


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