Shibari is such a thrilling activity that it can be easy to overlook or minimize the less fun (or more serious) stuff, but rope bondage isn’t called ‘edge play’ for nothing. There’s always an element of risk when getting tied – no matter if you play on the floor or do higher-risk suspensions. Understanding the risks of engaging in this wonderful activity is a first step to being able to make informed choices about the kind of risks you’re willing to take as a rope bottom. While by no means exhaustive, this guide to some of the most common risks associated with shibari should put you on the path to a more intentional and risk-aware rope practice.
Risk: Falling and being dropped
With your limbs tied, balance is trickier. For obvious reasons, falling over with your hands tied means you can’t put them out to protect yourself from the impact. This is a risk that both bottoms and tops are prone to underestimating. Riggers should make sure that they’re able to catch you at all times or, alternatively, should attach an upline to your harness to protect you from falling.
Illustration by Jo La PatouilleIt’s no overstatement to say that being dropped from a suspension could be a matter of life or death or lead to permanent disability if you land on your head or neck. If you’re suspended on just one upline and that rope breaks, a fall could be fatal. Drops from rope breaks are less common than human error, however. I know several bottoms who were dropped from suspensions due to poor rope handling and poorly tied uplines. Flashy transition techniques like lowering two uplines at the same time might look cool but are you satisfied that your rigger has the skills to pull something like this off safely? It’s important for every rope bottom to understand that only you should decide if it’s worth the risk or with whom you want to take that risk.
It’s important for every rope bottom to understand that only you should decide if it’s worth the risk or with whom you want to take that risk.
My personal experience has also allowed me to review and revise the risks I’m willing to take. As a new bottom, being suspended upside-down hanging on just one upline and lowered down used to be a regular occurrence. Today, this is something I would only do very rarely as a calculated risk for a performance or photoshoot. The more times you do something risky, the higher the chances of getting hurt.
Risk: Nerve damage
Nerves run all over our body and applying rope and pressure means that nerves can become compressed and get damaged. Nerve damage can show up as sensation loss in the skin or loss of mobility and strength, lasting anything from minutes to months.
Most rope bottoms I know have experienced some sort of nerve damage, particularly skin sensitivity loss. We all have different bodies and some of us are simply more prone to nerve damage. I’d advise anyone getting into ropes to learn about the main nerves that are likely to be impacted while doing rope bondage. Getting to know your body in ropes and figuring out what nerve compression feels like takes time and can be very individual. Over time many bottoms will develop a deeper understanding of their own bodies including a sense of what spots are at higher risk for nerve compression than others, and this allows them to communicate to their riggers what sort of unique rope placement is right for them.
Illustration by Jo La Patouille Getting to know your body in ropes and figuring out what nerve compression feels like takes time and can be very individual.
Changes to blood circulation can also happen while being tied, and while less serious than nerve issues, it can be difficult to determine if certain physical warning signs stem from circulation loss or nerve compression. In general, circulation loss comes on gradually and nerve compression signs tend to happen fast. Tingling or numb sensations in parts of the hand and fingers should never be ignored – sometimes resolving the issue may be as simple as adjusting a wrap or relieving pressure on part of the tie. Sudden loss of strength when gripping or difficulty moving your hand up and down or doing a ‘thumbs up’ can be a sign of acute nerve compression and should be acted upon fast (the Nerve Compression Masterclass offers an example of what effective real-time action can look like).
Remember, only you can feel what’s going on in your body. Always tell the rigger if something feels unusual. Learn how to do hand checks in rope or get your rigger to check your hands regularly during a tie. It’s your body – don’t let anyone make you feel bad for protecting it by asking for adjustments or for the rope to be untied.
Risk: Rope marks, rope burns and blisters
Rope bondage can leave marks on the body that might last anywhere from a couple of hours after a session up to some weeks depending on how sensitive your skin is, the style you’re getting tied in (static versus dynamic) and the kind of pressure applied by the rope. While many of us love rope marks, it can make life difficult if you want to keep your penchant for getting tied up a secret.
While you can’t avoid having rope marks when getting tied, not having them in obvious places like the face or neck can be a good idea if you’re meeting family for lunch after a session or have an important work meeting the next day. I’ve had some beautiful neck rope marks that took a few days to fade and while wearing a polo neck jumper in the middle of summer to the office wasn’t exactly ideal, at least I didn’t get any worried looks from my colleagues.
Illustration by Jo La Patouille Rope bondage can leave marks on the body that might last anything from a couple of hours after a session up to some weeks depending on how sensitive your skin is, the style you’re getting tied in, and the kind of pressure applied by the rope.
While rope marks might be welcome to some, it’s probably fair to say that no one wants rope burns… The friction caused by rope sliding on the body can leave nasty burns, especially with more dynamic rope bondage styles. Rope burns can leave marks that can last weeks or take up to several years to fade. I have a semi-permanent rope burn mark on my belly that is only now starting to fade more than a year later. Consider getting proper advice from a medical professional if you’ve experienced a deep rope burn.
Skin damage due to ropes can also get darker and linger longer due to pigmentation variation. I try to avoid exposing my marks to sunshine as that inevitably makes them darker. To make any lasting marks fade quicker, many other rope bottoms find that moisturizing with coconut, almond or jojoba oil can be helpful. Some bottoms also recommend panthenol ointment.
Small blisters can sometimes appear on the skin due to friction and uneven rope pinching, with hot and humid conditions increasing the likelihood. My advice? Let the blisters alone and once they’re dried out and healed up, you can start moisturizing the skin.
Risk: Petechiae
Some bottoms experience small, pin-like red spots on their skin after getting tied. I had no idea about this as a new rope bottom and was rather alarmed to see tiny rash-like red dots all around my eyes after being suspended upside-down. The usual culprits for developing petechiae include very tight rope, inversions and intense exertion, which can lead to tiny blood vessels bursting under the skin. Good news: petechiae normally heals up within a couple of days.
Risk: Injuries to the spine, joints, ligaments and bones
Getting twisted, compressed and bent into various shapes in ropes can put stress on your body. The list of possible injuries is more variable and extensive than any one blog post could cover, but the following examples should give you some idea of things you should be considering… If you have previous injuries or issues with hypermobility, you could be more prone to injuries like shoulder or knee dislocation. Knee joints are particularly sensitive and can be damaged if the rigger pulls on the leg in the wrong direction. Waist rope that is placed too high can bruise or break the floating ribs. Torsions, backbends and hair ties can damage the back and neck if the body is yanked or pushed beyond its range of motion by the rigger. Even if you’re someone who is flexible, doing intense backbends without having a strong core to protect the spine can lead to long-term back problems. Rotator cuff inflammation is one of the more common issues when getting tied in a TK, although that can be improved by proper tying technique and arm placement/shoulder locking.
Developing greater body awareness and communicating your needs to your rigger can help mitigate some of these risks. If rope is causing injuries, physiotherapists can help you identify things you can do both in and out of rope to protect your body.
Risk: Psychological/emotional risk
Shibari and getting tied can touch us deeply and have a profound impact, both physically and mentally. Being tied produces a lot of natural chemicals in the brain and body that make us feel a bit high. ‘Coming down’ from this somewhat altered state can produce feelings of sadness and anxiety in some people – a little like a comedown from drugs (also referred to as a ‘drop’ in the BDSM and shibari world). Knowing what you need for aftercare can be helpful. For me, knowing that I’ll be able to reach out to the person I’ve tied with after a session is important.
While we can predict or anticipate these comedowns to some degree, there are more volatile emotional or psychological factors too. Doing a bondage session together with someone can be intense, intimate and full of emotions. We might get emotionally attached to the people we tie with and sometimes there can be confusion and a mismatch about what we feel and what we mean to each other. You might also have triggers that come out when you get tied that you weren’t aware of. Misunderstandings, consent mistakes and violations do happen and can be highly traumatic. I had to learn the hard way that body humiliation play is not something I ever want to engage in again as it really messed with my body dysmorphia.
Illustration by Jo La Patouille You might also have triggers that come out when you get tied that you weren’t aware of… I had to learn the hard way that body humiliation play is not something I ever want to engage in again…
Finally, there are predatory and unsafe people in all walks of life, and the shibari world is no exception. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage of the vulnerability that being tied up inevitably involves. Vetting (asking other people about the person you plan to get tied by) is important but is sadly not a guarantee that you won’t come across people who cross boundaries, don’t listen to feedback, take unnecessary risks without pre-negotiation, or otherwise behave badly. As a new rope bottom it can be hard to know what is expected of you and what is normal behavior. Saying ‘no’ and using an agreed upon safe word should always be respected.
A calculated risk
After reading all that, even the idea of getting tied up might have you breaking out in a cold sweat. Whether you’re aware of it or not, your every-day life is probably filled with all sorts of decisions you make to mitigate risks (getting a taxi home rather than driving after drinks with friends, wearing a bike helmet, even stopping to retie your shoelaces when they’ve come undone). Rest assured that now that you understand how rope can affect you, this same type of risk-mitigation can apply to your rope practice too.
.svg)
