Before rope bondage became ubiquitous everywhere from music videos and fashion editorials to art installations and, of course, social media, it was largely, well, a dirty little secret. Emphasis on the ‘dirty’. Sex and bondage have long been combined, allowing the kinky folks who play this way to amplify all the fun parallels that run between the two: excitement, vulnerability, surrender, exposure, sensation, trust, intimacy … The list goes on. Whether you and your partner are playing with kink and rope bondage for the first time, or you’re seasoned kinksters with a regular rope practice, rope can be a tool to enhance your eroticism and intentionally explore a spectrum of pleasurable emotions – consensually, of course.
If you’re looking for some sexy shibari ties to practice with your partner or begin incorporating in the bedroom, here are five Shibari Study courses to get you feeling inspired (among other things)…
Beginner-friendly sexy shibari
Tifereth’s Physical Rope: Ground
Grab your rope (just one is fine), pull your partner closer (using your legs to do it isn’t just allowed, it’s encouraged) and join Tifereth and her rope bottom Irkalla as they explore what Tifereth likes to call “physical rope” – a type of minimal-technique hands-on play that’s all about feeling good and getting physical. In the first part of the course, Tifereth shows how using just a doubled over rope and your own body as your tools, you can push, pull, compress and spread your partner’s body in space to push them to their happy limits. Top tip for keeping this sexy? Roll around, topple over, laugh – this type of play is deliberately messy and unstructured, helping you focus more on fun and less on fiddling.
Rope harnesses for sex
Kinoko's Bedroom Bondage
Yes, a huge number of shibari harnesses can be creatively incorporated into intimate play, but if you’re after harnesses expressly built for comfort, sustainability and, you know, getting it on, global shibari icon Hajime Kinoko has two to share. Together with his model hua hua, Kinoko’s ‘Bedroom Bondage’ course offers both an upper body harness and a lower body harness that hit the mark of being spicy yet simple – not only are these ties functional and fun, but they recognize that if you’re using them during sex, there’s an understandably high likelihood of getting distracted. As such, they avoid complicated techniques, strenuous positions or unnecessarily risky rope. Rather, they’re built for grabbing, tugging and playing – if you want to see how, don’t miss Kinoko’s demo at the end of the course.
A rope harness for under clothes
Neko Harness
Sure, you can incorporate rope into what you do with your partner behind closed doors, but who says wearing it out can’t be an option for spicing things up too? Swap out sexy lingerie under your clothing for bare skin and rope with the alluring Neko Harness, as taught by Tamandua and his model Mie Neko. This hands-free tie is not only perfect for adorning the body and easily concealing under your date night outfit, but it’s built for pleasure (or discreet torture) too. With stimulating pressure points built into the pattern, including some well-placed knots on the crotch rope, this wearable rope harness is more than just aesthetically pleasing. Wear it out, if you dare…
BDSM for the body and mind
D/s Dynamics
That delicious space where sex and bondage intersect is not only about playing with the body in ropes but about playing with mental space and emotions too, and when it comes to 'setting the mood', it’s just as important for BDSM as it is for more vanilla types of intimacy. In this introduction to D/s dynamics, Ropunawa – together with his partner Freya – discusses how to mindfully begin to explore dominance and submission. This insightful class covers how to read different cues and signals from your partner, how to nonverbally communicate your intentions and how to create an immersive experience for playing with power dynamics. Start off with Ropunawa’s Leash Tie as an effective and deeply erotic tie for beginning to play with those powerful feelings of surrender and control.
Extra spice
Rope Gags
Incorporating shibari skills into your sex life doesn’t have to mean memorizing complex full body hogties or drilling a suspension hardpoint into your ceiling. Rope can be used to – consensually, we stress – add an extra element of playfulness, stress or shame to your spicy scenes without needing to invest in a full rope kit or learn complicated knots. Case in point? This collection of rope gags, as taught by Gorgone and their model Franz. Using just a rope or some household items, you can start to add a little kink (and potentially a lot of drool) to your play. You’ll never look at wooden clothespins in the same way again…
Where can I learn shibari with my partner?
Where possible, we will always advocate for a combination of learning shibari online and in-person tuition. Each type of learning offers its own distinct and different benefits. If you’re not sure how to find shibari classes in your area, try turning to, well, the internet. FetLife can be a great resource for connecting with kinky folks and for finding your local rope bondage community. The Shibari Study Discord is also an online rope community space that connects Shibari Study members from around the globe.
For more rope bondage that celebrates romance, connection and all things spicy, check out the 'For Lovers' category on Shibari Study!
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