The Way We Show BDSM On-Screen Is Changing

Few franchises are as polarizing as Fifty Shades, which has dominated our collective view of BDSM for a decade (no pun intended). But whether you see it as a titillating fantasy or a sad simulacrum of kink, you can’t deny that it unleashed a flood of BDSM-centric stories and other movies like Fifty Shades of Grey into pop culture. Pre-Fifty Shades, it’s hard to imagine the nonchalant reception of the pro-Domme comedy series Bonding, or A24’s libidinous Babygirl being half-seriously billed as a Christmas movie (you can watch the Babygirl trailer here).

But what may seem like an expansion of BDSM in the cultural purview actually has a pretty narrow focus. If you knew nothing of the practice beyond Hollywood’s BDSM stories and salacious portrayals, you might think it was primarily the domain of submissive straight women and morally questionable male Doms. It’s a character dynamic that has been de rigueur since long before Ana and Christian Grey, as seen during the erotic thriller boom of the ’80s, which gave us classics like Blue Velvet and 91/2 Weeks. Of course, the heart of the culture has always been more multifaceted.

BDSM is sounding rods, sassy brats, and puppy play. It’s alpha sub exhibitionists and hogtied littles with praise kinks. It’s bodies of all sizes and shapes, and it’s very, very queer. So why is all of that so rare on screen? We know kink is political because it subverts deeply entrenched norms around gender, pleasure and power. Entertainment can also expand our sense of what’s possible in our lives and relationships. As with any other subculture commodified by mainstream tastemakers, the biases of the powerful can determine what we do or don’t see in the media. When we resist that status quo, we take our power back.

BDSM is sounding rods, sassy brats, and puppy play. It’s alpha sub exhibitionists and hogtied littles with praise kinks. It’s bodies of all sizes and shapes, and it’s very, very queer. So why is all of that so rare on screen?

In honor of World BDSM Day, we’re spotlighting a few films and series whose portrayal of kink truly buck the norm. Add one to your watchlist for a low-key way to celebrate!

Billions, pilot episode (2016)

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From the very first seconds of the Showtime TV series Billions, viewers are treated to Paul Giamatti gagged and bound in a pretty bad (but apparently efficient) rope tie, breathing heavily on a wooden floor. A mysterious leather-clad Domme appears with a lit cigarette and a warning that she “might leave marks”. She stubs the butt out on his chest before soothing the burn with a stream of her urine. Immediately afterward, we learn this man is a US Attorney. That we meet him wriggling and powerless instead of giving orders from a desk in a necktie speaks volumes. After all, it’s the sub who’s truly in charge.

We’ve seen plenty of businessmen with a submissive side in movies and television. It’s a classic trope illustrating how powerful men can secretly crave an inversion of their standard social interactions. What’s unusual about Giamatti’s Chuck Rhoades is his general wholesomeness. He’s not the depraved workaholic abusing his subordinates and subconsciously seeking balance. He’s genuinely motivated by justice, he’s a devoted family man who makes it home for bath-time and a nightcap with his wife, who, we learn at the end, is the mystery Domme from the opening sequence.

We’ve seen plenty of businessmen with a submissive side in movies and television. It’s a classic trope illustrating how powerful men can secretly crave an inversion of their standard social interactions.

This is a fabulous reveal, one that takes the storyline beyond the realm of shock value and into that of careful characterization. That opening scene is short but serious, displaying high levels of trust and a clear understanding of BDSM between the spouses. This isn’t a middle-aged couple wanting to “spice things up”. They take their play as seriously as they do the life they’ve built. In fact, their D/s dynamic is a key component of their domestic bliss. It’s certainly more creative than couples’ therapy.

Pleasure (2021)

Despite its famously explicit sexuality, the prevailing arc of Pleasure is that of the young up-and-comer: an artist descends on Los Angeles from afar with little but a dream and a prayer. We meet Bella upon arrival from Stockholm, seeking inroads into the adult industry. Her greatest aspiration is to become “the next big porn star,” and it’s all we really know about her. Thus the adventure begins, with viewers tagging along to various porn shoots and parties across the San Fernando Valley, with all the skeet and bare skin this entails on display.

This scene does steer close to the BDSM tropes that Hollywood is overly reliant on, but it stands out due to the practically maternal levels of support from the all-female crew, who offer water and lube while setting boundaries around degrading language.

One call sheet at a time, Bella starts to find her footing, most notably in a BDSM scene she’s cast in. This is the highest intensity work we’ve seen her take so far, including being flogged while in an intricate rope suspension. Admittedly, this scene does steer close to the BDSM tropes that Hollywood is overly reliant on, but it stands out due to the practically maternal levels of support from the all-female crew, who offer water and lube while setting boundaries around degrading language. It’s a rare glimpse of the background care work that keeps the scene safe and comfy for all, which applies whether your playtime is professional or totally private. The BDSM scene is easily Bella’s most natural and joyful performance, and surely that’s no coincidence.

Sanctuary (2022)

The descriptor of “erotic thriller” can get tossed at any drama that’s especially debaucherous, or even just plainly focused on sex. Sanctuary is a genuinely novel spin on that subgenre, with a pulsating plot, a horror-style score, and an emphasis on sexual tension. Starring Christopher Abbott as a brooding hotel heir and the ascendant Margaret Qualley as his Dominatrix, you’re not always sure who you’re rooting for in this escalating battle of wills. Without revealing too much, the film is daringly out-there and loves a good mindgame – not unlike our antiheroine, Rebecca (played by Qualley, who excels at “unhinged hottie” roles).

The writers trust that their audience is well-versed enough in BDSM basics to know there’s not much that’s safe or sane about what we’re seeing, and that we shouldn’t try this at home.

This is not necessarily a flattering portrait of kink or findom, but it’s also not meant to be. The writers trust that their audience is well-versed enough in BDSM basics to know there’s not much that’s safe or sane about what we’re seeing, and that we shouldn’t try this at home. That irreverence is a strength, along with how disengaged the film is from respectability politics around sex work. Rebecca isn’t written as a grad student drowning in debt, nor does she have children or other dependents – common traits of fictional pros. Her Domme work is still depicted as an honest living, one that Hal (Abbott) explicitly states is valuable and important. You don’t often hear that type of humility and gratitude from the on-screen men who hire Dommes, and we could use a lot more of it.

Transparent, Season 3 (2016)

As the eldest grown child of the Pfefferman clan, Sarah of TV series Transparent, Amazon Prime’s acclaimed family drama, is not quite a stereotype. She’s just as directionless as her siblings, coasting through life with little sense of her true desires. We meet her in the midst of a stunning personal crisis, burning bridges and dancing in the flames just to feel something.

So when she gravitates toward a BDSM den at a fictional Michfest, it makes perfect sense. Sarah is transfixed by her first flogging, relishing the chance to get out of her head and ground deeply in her body, and to be told just what to do. Pony, the pro-domme from the festival, is amused by the newcomer and keeps working with her, until Sarah’s anxiety and rage over her self-abandonment start manifesting through their scenes. For better and for worse, it’s a faithful portrayal of the cauldron of emotions that kink can stew up.

Pony is played by the legendary porn star Jiz Lee, and the episode is directed by trans director Silas Howard, whose career as an artist began in San Francisco’s BDSM and queer communities. It’s the perfect lineup to show this often misrepresented subculture.

Pony is played by the legendary porn star Jiz Lee, and the episode is directed by trans director Silas Howard, whose career as an artist began in San Francisco’s BDSM and queer communities. It’s the perfect lineup to show this often misrepresented subculture. This is also a rare depiction of a woman’s mid-life sexual reawakening – one that has nothing to do with another person and everything to do with desire, transcendence, and self-discovery.