Rope is an incredibly diverse tool. Used in a rope bondage context, it can decorate a body, reduce mobility, create pain or pleasure, or suspend someone from the ceiling. Even so, despite endless possibilities of all sorts of complexities, often one of the hardest parts is simply knowing how to get started. This rope bondage beginners’ guide will hopefully help get you through the first few steps, from finding your community to putting together your first rope kit.
A useful place to start is with what is likely to be the first line of every rope class you will ever take: Rope bondage is dangerous, so don’t underestimate the risks and go slow. There’s no rush and you’ll have a lot more fun getting creative with basics than fumbling through complex ties that end up causing injury. It’s a journey, so enjoy it!
‘I want to learn shibari!’ How to start learning rope bondage
From in-person classes to online tuition , and rope bondage books to dedicated community forums and spaces, there are more options than ever to begin learning both how to tie as well as how to be tied (a skill in itself). Each type of learning will have its own pros and cons but many people find a sweet spot with a mix of all of the above. Wherever you choose to begin, start by familiarizing yourself with the basics of rope safety as well as negotiations and consent before you start exploring the fundamentals of tying. If you intend to join a local rope group, start with classes, events and 101 sessions focused on beginners. These are great chances to meet other people who are interested in rope, get some hands-on practice and get a feel for your local scene.
‘Great but how do I find a local rope bondage group?’ Finding your shibari community
FetLife isn’t perfect but it’s a great place to find rope bondage-related events in your area. Under ‘Events’, look for ‘rope munches’ (casual get-togethers that are often at restaurants or pubs), ‘rope jams’ (unstructured tying time with lots of knowledge sharing, often with a class at the start), or rope classes, 101s or other rope events.
There are also large FetLife groups like ‘Riggers and Rope Sluts’, ‘Ask a Rope Bottom’, ‘Shibari’ and ‘Rope Incident Reports’ where you can browse previous posts and ask your own questions. Local rope communities will often have a social media presence or online groups that you can join, which allows you to connect virtually before venturing out in person. Make sure you check the rules for posting in groups and any vetting requirements for in-person events.
Illustrator: Crystal Hou ‘Can I learn shibari if I don’t live in a big city?’ Virtual rope bondage education options
Not everyone lives in a center where there are munches or rope nights within driving distance but there are online options too. Shibari Study offers a vast variety of rope bondage courses – spanning from absolute beginner to advanced – and hosts frequent livestream classes from a variety of rope artists worldwide, RopeCraft Chicago hosts an online conference in addition to their annual Illinois event, and a growing number of rope dojos have regular virtual classes and online events. Virtual options like rope performances, theory and practical classes and even virtual rope jams can be found on FetLife too. Be mindful though that as your practice progresses, there's no substitute for in-person professional guidance, particularly when learning more complex or higher-risk techniques.
‘Who will tie me up? Who will I tie up?’ Learning shibari without a partner
Finding a good rope partner can be a challenge for newbies and experienced rope artists alike. Regardless of what role you want to take in rope – tying, being tied or both – having an understanding of the basics and how rope feels on skin will serve you well. You can use your own ankles to practice simple knots and most lower body ties can be self-tied. Even if self-tying isn’t your primary focus, self-tying exercises can help you develop your confidence in rope.
Some people also ‘make’ a model – I have heard of everything from a wetsuit stuffed with old clothes to a long sleeved shirt and leggings filled with rolled up towels.
It’s tempting for those wanting to be tied to find the ‘best’ person in the city and ask them to tie but, in my opinion, it’s better for all parties to find someone who has similar goals and excitement and to schedule and learn together. A good connection and good communication are so important. Learning together with someone you trust can be far more fulfilling than trying to make something fit in exchange for a higher skill level.
Illustrator: Crystal Hou ‘I’m ready, what do I need to learn shibari?’ What is in a rope kit?
You’ll need a few lengths of rope to get started – four to six pieces of around 15 to 30 feet in length should be enough to get you well beyond the basics. Most people use natural fibers like jute or hemp or synthetics like POSH or nylon. There are other options too, like cotton or bamboo – each type of rope has advantages and disadvantages , so adapt your kit to your needs. Where you can buy rope somewhat depends on where in the world you live but it's worth getting it from a company that makes rope specifically for bondage. For starter gear, you’ll need safety shears, in case of emergencies. Avoid the urge to buy all the rope and gear right away. Invest in a few hanks of good quality rope and build up the gear as your practice grows.
‘What next?’ Words of wisdom for shibari beginners
Take the time to start understanding the safety side of rope bondage , nail a few basics and start having fun. The biggest mistake I see people make is trying to get to an imaginary finish line in rope (often a suspension) and forgetting to enjoy themselves and play along the way. It’s important to learn how to negotiate this new style of play , discover what things you enjoy and figure out how to communicate in this space. These are key to developing your style as a rigger or as a rope bottom.
There’s plenty of fun to be had on the ground with a few basics and a little creativity (check out this free inspiration session for some ideas). Explore the ways rope can be used alone and in partnership. Connect with a partner (or yourself) in meaningful ways and discover the many sensations that rope can provide. There’s a reason many people refer to learning rope as a rope journey : there’s no destination to rush to – instead, it’s important to try to enjoy where you are.
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